Life.

My last post on here was in June 2011.. and it was about the death of my grandfather.  After popular demand that I continue to blog (okay, more like Casey and Erin laughing about it).. this is an attempt to try the blogging thing again.  And to start it off (again) this post is about life!

God has given us a sweet baby girl that is growing in me.  It is crazy how God designed marriage, women, and our bodies.  It is so crazy that as I sit here typing, I feel a little human inside of me, moving around. 

This week I start the 3rd trimester of what has physically been a great pregnancy.  Praise God!  Spiritually, I have struggled through a lot of fears and trusting God.  I forget who God is and that our God is a loving God.  That this baby is His, and not ours.  That He is good.  That He loves me deeply.  Thankful that He pursues me and reminds me.

I am also thankful for a kind and patient husband!  I love that He put Reed and I together and has given us this blessing.

The baby daddy

                                                    
Preparing for this baby to come into the world is a really beautiful thing.  I love praying over her, thinking what she will be like, and who God has made her to be.

I also enjoy the physical part, and sometimes get more distracted by that.  There are just so many cute nurseries out there, and I want our baby to have the trendiest one.  :)  I want her to one day say, "Mom, remember that time you brought me home to that beautiful nursery with all the trendy crafts.  I loved looking at all the birds, vases, cool curtains, sweet glider, and vintage photos on the wall.  It inspired me to be who I am today." .. something like that. 

We had our nursery painted this weekend, by a super kind man who lives down the street.  He was a reasonable price and we would recommend him!  (Reed and I decided to not paint ourselves due to time, fumes, and we just don't like it)
 
The walls are green and the ceiling is a brown/grey.  I'm sure you are thinking what everyone else asks, "Why so dark?"  For one, I don't like pink.  I never really have.  I like darker colors (2 rooms in our house are dark grey).   And we plan on brightening it up with pop color accents, right now I am thinking a pastel teal.

We also put together our crib.. which took a while... a long while.  Good thing my husband is persistent and brilliant.  

This happened.. a lot.

Done!

Tribute to Leonard aka Grandpa

Last week we found out that my Grandpa Kraft was terminally ill with pancreatic cancer.  He had prostate cancer a few years ago, and since then it has continued to attack his body.  Today, he is no longer in his body.
Grandpa Kraft was the only grandpa we really knew, since my mom's dad passed away when we were really young.  
Death is such a weird reality.  I live in the reality of Christ and He defeated death!  That doesn't make the loss of someone super easy.  There are still emotions and those emotions are even harder when you're not sure if that person is God's child.  The reality of that is tough.  What do you do with that?


I want to take a moment to reflect on my Grandpa, from what I knew of him and who he was to me. 


We weren't close to him.  He lived in Jacksonville with my Grandma and Kurt.  We grew up, anticipating visits from him and my Grandma throughout the year.  They would bring up treats for us, food and random things my Grandma had purchased at yard sales.  I always remember my Grandpa being stern with us, never really wanting to be around us as little kids.  One year at Christmas, he and my mom got into an argument about how loud we were, and he and my Grandma ended up going home early. 
He would always do this thing with his jaw, moving his bottom teeth to be in front of his front teeth, like an under bite.  He would try to get my Grandma to hurry, by repeatedly calling "Wilma, Wilma."
He harshly told me I needed to go to counseling in high school because of my picky eating habits and small frame.  He gave me money my second semester of college last minute, because my parent's couldn't afford it.  He always wore khaki's and sweaters.  He cursed often.  He was a really slow driver. 

The last visit I had with him was in March.  It was totally a gift from our good God.  Our grandparent's have not wanted to be bothered.  They want to sit in their house, take their medicine, and continue sitting.  To make a long story short, Reed, Kory, Alanna, and myself drove to Jacksonville to have dinner with them.  Just dinner.  It was so good though.  My grandparents weren't able to come to our wedding, so that was the first time they met Reed.  It was also their first time meeting Alanna, Kory's girlfriend.  We all set around a table at Olive Garden.  We talked and were able to see them face to face, which hadn't happened for 2 years.  He was able to meet my husband!  It is such a good last memory.  (above photo)


My thoughts are all over the place right now.. that is how I am going to leave this post.

This moment

Two days ago I finally had sinus surgery.  For the past few years the ENT and allergist have strongly encouraged me to get it done.  I have to say, I already feel better!  I know that the lovely pain pills I am taking are helping me feel this way, but I can breathe through my nose, which was rare before!  So I am spending a lot of time in the bed, making a list of things to do, and getting back on this blog is one!

Reed and I went to the beach last weekend with some friends of mine from college.  It was so much fun getting together with people you don't see on a weekly basis and spending a few days with them.  Charleston is one of my favorite places in the entire world, and I love spending time there.  The cobblestone streets, the trendy boutiques and people, the salt air, the good restaurants.. I love it all! 
It was great to be away from the normal scheduled life and live with no cares at the beach!  Reed didn't really know any of the people that were there, except for my friend Stacy who was also a bridesmaid in our wedding.  Reed, however, is great with people, and just becomes best friends with everyone.  God has given him that gift!



Since I had surgery, I have felt very loved by God.  He has given me a sweet husband, who is patient, kind, and gentle; parents and in-laws who are caring, and special friends like Greta and Alise!  I'm so thankful for the community our Father gives, and the grace he lavishes on me, when I don't deserve it.


Some of my list of things to do while out of commission are:
Update my reading lists:http://www.goodreads.com/
Clean out my email
Organize my recipes (they are all over the place)
Continue reading Radical and other books
Watch "Waiting for Superman" - our recent netflix selection, about public education
Prepare for Frazee summer
Lots of sleep

This situation.

I decided to start this situation.  This blog.  It is for my self.  To reflect and to share in a different way than writing in my journal.  It is not to boast in myself or a cry for attention.  My presumption is that most people who start blogs have a deep desire to be the next cool blog... but that is my cynical heart.

I want this to be a safe space where I can share my new season of marriage and life.  Today it has been a whole month that I have now been married to the stud, Reed Moore.

In a brief summary of what is my life now, I quit my job with the support of my then fiance, now husband.  It was not an easy decision, but I am super thankful that I have had this time to adjust to the chaos of change.

Along with that, I have been spending a lot of time hanging out a community center that has an after school program for inner city kids.  It is apart of the church/community I am apart of, and in a crazy way it is refreshing for my young adult soul to be around these kids.  At the same time, it is really hard when you see the brokenness and darkness in these kid's and their culture.  This has been a small part of my pursuit to be certified as a teacher.  (Now looking into getting my MAT in elementary or middle teaching)

On this, I want to be able to be authentic and transparent, because I value that.  I think Jesus lived that way on earth, and since He is still alive, desires us to live that way also.  I want to share the sin in my heart and the brokenness I see, and how I see God redeem it.  I know that amidst all of the darkness in the world, that He is so good at making all things beautiful.