My dream job

I've been working on this post in my head over the past week.  Today is my last day at Frazee.  Reed and I decided it would be best for our family for me to take some time off in preparation for our baby girl that will be here in May.  I still expect Frazee to be a big part of our lives, and I am eager to see what that looks like in the upcoming months.

There are so many details I want to include in this post: my journey into my "dream" job (God did crazy things!), different stories of kids and amazing volunteers, the many, many things I have learned... because the Lord has blessed me immensely in all of it!  However, to avoid writing a novel, I tried my best to sum it up. My summary does not do justice to how much God has taught me in my time there. I am extremely thankful to God for His goodness in giving me such an amazing opportunity!


I graduated from USC with a fashion merchandising degree, and worked in the apparel industry for a year and half at a local company.  To be brief, I was very thankful for it, since that was at the end of 2008 and our country was on an economic downfall.  While it was a great job, it was not for me. It was my Egypt and I was making bricks, continually crying out to God.  And like God with the Israelites, He heard my cry.  (Praise God!) In 2010, I left the job, spent a couple of weeks preparing for a wedding, then a couple more adjusting to marriage.

I began working at the Frazee Dream Center in the fall of 2010. With no education degree or experience.  The only thing was the Holy Spirit and amazing teachers (Matt & Jenny Reeve's, my brother, and the Brown's).

The Frazee Center is an after-school program, for "high-risk" kids in the downtown community.  They also have a preschool program, and a summer program for all the kids.  Not only that, they provide dinner, lunches, and try to meet any need in the kid's lives that come up.  There is also a mentoring program that pairs each child with a mentor/mentor family.  The mentoring program is the backbone to Frazee, as we are learning how important that is for changing these children's lives.

Ahh.. but that is just a small part of it. I cannot describe in words, how special that place is.  It is not just a building for small, inner-city kids.  It is a place where the kingdom of God meets earth.  It is a place where kids get to see God's love in a tangible way.  It is a place where they can learn the practical things in life, to be functional people in society.  Daily we teach practical that leads to spiritual in how to:  work hard, respect authority, love everyone, and forgive quickly.  Isn't that what God desires?

And God let me be a small, small part of that as a "teacher" there for almost 2 years!

I have learned so much about poverty and how broken our system is.. and how we need Jesus even more.  I have learned a lot about working through disciplining a child's heart and some of the emotions with that.  I have learned how to train a child, over and over and over, in forgiveness and grace.  I have learned how important it is to confess to children that I am not perfect, and that because Jesus forgives us, we forgive each other.  I have learned how to have fun.  I have learned how to have joy in small things.  I have learned how to not give a kid a band-aid for every scratch or run to every crying child.  I have learned that some people are crazy.  I have learned how important discernment is.  I have learned that the biggest needs aren't more "things", but relationships.   


I'm so thankful for Mr. Matt and Mrs. Jenny, for their obedience to God in starting the Frazee center.  I've learned an unbelievable amount from them!  They are an inspiration to Reed and I, in mostly how fun they are!  :)  Thankful for Alise and Gresham, for their patience and guidance.  They are also an inspiration!  And my brother Kory, who despite being a full time student at Furman, continues to work at Frazee.  He has taught me tons during my time there. 

I am thankful for all the wonderful volunteers who help make Frazee what it is.  I'm super thankful for the ones in my class, and their patience with me and the kids.

I could keep going.

but I will stop for now...

Nashayla at Fall for Greenville 2010

Luz and Kev Thanksgiving 2010 (Kevin is much bigger now!)

Sweet Jonathan

Older girls over for a cook-out and dance night to celebrate end of school 2010-11

Ammon and the baby bump. The kids LOVE her already.

Ammon after Upward basketball

Yes

What a normal end of the day looks like as we wait for their rides

Reed and his mentee Ashton

A few of my kids

Creativity

So fresh

Spring Break.. aka babymoon

I love that in and through this simple, silly blog.. I can worship God.  I am really eager to share about our trip to Cancun.  Not because it was a crazy trip with crazy stories, but because God gave Reed and I gave us a sweet gift!  And I want to share how loving our God is!

Reed and I both enjoy traveling!  We love adventures, people, culture, and mostly food.  :)  We decided we wanted to go some where fun before we have this new addition to our family.  In January, we started planning and doing some research into where we would want to go.  I really wanted to go some place tropical and relaxing!  :)  We looked into Costa Rica, Dominican, and different places in Mexico.  We decided on Cancun, due to the inexpensive flight costs and good deal on a resort we found online. 

We booked our tickets, room, and updated our passports.  We also checked with the doctor, since I would be 29 weeks pregnant.  He is a very laid back guy, who of course said, "Sounds like a good idea."  Our parents and friends were a little bit more concerned.. fearful I would have a "Mexican" baby.  (Fearful not because of the nationality, but the risks of being far away)

We left last week for our 4 night, 5 day stay in the lovely Caribbean.  Ahh.. it was nice!  We stayed at an all-inclusive resort, so we spent most of our time there.  One afternoon, we did travel to some shopping malls. 

Other than that, most of our time was spent sitting on the beach, under a hut.. reading, drinking, sleeping, in my case peeing, dipping in the pool, dipping our feet in the ocean, and people watching.  It was hard to pass up on all the yummy alcohol drinks, but I had my fare share of virgin strawberry daiquiris and occasional Mickey Mouse drink (fruit juices).  Reed, however, took full advantage of the all inclusive drinks.  :) 

Our resort was a mixed bag of people.  Families, cute old people, and plenty of "Spring Breakers" from different colleges.  Reed and I love to meet people, but we kept to ourselves most of the time.  We are really into each other.  :) 

Baby girl loved Cancun.  She is a super active baby, and we got to see her moving around a lot due to the bathing suit.  And yes.. I did rock a 2 piece.  I tried a tank-ini, but it was too much fabric.  I did research before hand, and purchased paraben free and natural sun-screen.  I used plenty of it and also wore a cover up, to protect the belly from getting burned. Also, thanks to Jenn Snow's maternity wardrobe, I had lots of cute sun dresses to wear in the evening.

All in all, we are super thankful God gave us the opportunity to get away before we enter a new, crazy season of life.  

The Name.

The questions you get when you are pregnant are:
When are you due?
What are you having?
Did you swallow a watermelon seed?  (love the southern people)
What is the name?

The last question is the trickiest one for me, for a couple of reasons. 
1) I would love to say that Reed and I have a name picked out.. but we do not.  We are no where close to having one. 
2) For anyone that knows me, keeping secrets (that are exciting secrets) are REALLY hard for me to do.  Reed and I want to keep it to ourselves until baby girl is here, because of the wisdom of others (people can give you their unwanted opinions).

Ever since I was a little girl and started to write in a journal, I left myself notes of what to do when I get older and how to be when I become a parent.  (A little silly, I just didn't want to forget)  In some of those notes (like what to be when I grow up) and to do lists, I had a running list of boy and girl names for my kids. 

When you get married, you start to compare notes, and they can be different.  For example, one name from my original list that I used to love is:  Olivia, and call her Livy.  However, Reed and his twin had many a lady friend, and that name was marred, so I can no longer use it.  Also when you get married, you get a new last name, that may not fit with some of the first/middle names you had on your original list.  "Moore" is a tricky one.  For example, another name I like is Eden.. and apparently it doesn't work with Moore.  Eden Moore.. sounds like "eatin' more". We don't want our kids to be made fun of because of their name.

Reed's suggestions so far:
Reedina Moore
Love Moore

Not only will our child have this name when they are a kid, but when they are applying for colleges and jobs. We don't want their application to get looked over, because their name is Love Moore.

I know that is extreme, but we aren't taking the name thing lightly.  We are both on the same page, because the meaning is really important to us.  We want our daughter to know the Lord deeply, and for her to live life in and through Him.  We want her name to speak over her, who God has made her to be. 

I read this excerpt in the book I am reading, Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts" and found it very much in sync with my heart as we seek a name for our child:

"Now in the Bible a name... reveals the very essence of a thing, or rather its essence as God's gift.. To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it, to know it as coming from God and to know its place and function within the cosmos created by god.  To name a thing, in other words, is to bless God for it and in it."
Alexander Schmemann "For the Life of the World:  Sacraments and Orthodoxy"


We look at baby name lists online and at different books, but it is just overwhelming.  Right now, we are trusting that God is going to guide us in this and speak to us.  We trust that this is His baby and that He has a purpose for her.  How exciting!

to live fully.

I have been reading a really good book the past few months.  I am reading it slowly, because it is rich and good.. and I want to enjoy every page.  It's called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp and on the top of the cover page it says: A dare to live LIVE FULLY right where you are.

I have really enjoyed reading her book and I think God has used it to remind me of how to experience Him in the everyday, mundane details of life.  God takes her on a journey to learn how to thank God for everything, and in that thanks to Him, experience joy and life to the fullest.  

She puts a quote I love from C.S Lewis' "Weight of Glory" (which I have not read).

"What more, you may ask, do we want?  Ah, but we want so much more- something the books on aesthetics take little notice of.  But the poets and mythologies know all about it.  We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough.  We want something else which can hardly be put into words-to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it."  

I find that I want this beauty.  And I seek this beauty.  Even in things, like a nursery.  Our yard.  Our house.  I want things to be beautiful and pleasing to the eye.  I think God has put that in us.  In this broken world, as His daughter, I long for order in chaos, and brokenness to be made whole.  Even in something silly like, not wanting weeds in our yard.  

But I want more and I want deeper beauty.  I want to see the Lord's beauty and goodness in all things. 

I find it really hard to see God's beauty and goodness when I see kids abused emotionally and physically, kids without parents, my dad with mental illness, Reed with a disease that cannot be cured (juvenile diabetes)... 

I have to stop, be still, and remember who God is.  That He is loving.  That He is good.  That He redeems.  That His power is more than I will ever understand fully here on Earth. That He is compassionate.

So today.. I want to be "united with beauty" as I sit here, do the dishes, drive, teach little children.  I want to live the way Jesus shows us and tells us, that we too can live fully.

Life.

My last post on here was in June 2011.. and it was about the death of my grandfather.  After popular demand that I continue to blog (okay, more like Casey and Erin laughing about it).. this is an attempt to try the blogging thing again.  And to start it off (again) this post is about life!

God has given us a sweet baby girl that is growing in me.  It is crazy how God designed marriage, women, and our bodies.  It is so crazy that as I sit here typing, I feel a little human inside of me, moving around. 

This week I start the 3rd trimester of what has physically been a great pregnancy.  Praise God!  Spiritually, I have struggled through a lot of fears and trusting God.  I forget who God is and that our God is a loving God.  That this baby is His, and not ours.  That He is good.  That He loves me deeply.  Thankful that He pursues me and reminds me.

I am also thankful for a kind and patient husband!  I love that He put Reed and I together and has given us this blessing.

The baby daddy

                                                    
Preparing for this baby to come into the world is a really beautiful thing.  I love praying over her, thinking what she will be like, and who God has made her to be.

I also enjoy the physical part, and sometimes get more distracted by that.  There are just so many cute nurseries out there, and I want our baby to have the trendiest one.  :)  I want her to one day say, "Mom, remember that time you brought me home to that beautiful nursery with all the trendy crafts.  I loved looking at all the birds, vases, cool curtains, sweet glider, and vintage photos on the wall.  It inspired me to be who I am today." .. something like that. 

We had our nursery painted this weekend, by a super kind man who lives down the street.  He was a reasonable price and we would recommend him!  (Reed and I decided to not paint ourselves due to time, fumes, and we just don't like it)
 
The walls are green and the ceiling is a brown/grey.  I'm sure you are thinking what everyone else asks, "Why so dark?"  For one, I don't like pink.  I never really have.  I like darker colors (2 rooms in our house are dark grey).   And we plan on brightening it up with pop color accents, right now I am thinking a pastel teal.

We also put together our crib.. which took a while... a long while.  Good thing my husband is persistent and brilliant.  

This happened.. a lot.

Done!

Tribute to Leonard aka Grandpa

Last week we found out that my Grandpa Kraft was terminally ill with pancreatic cancer.  He had prostate cancer a few years ago, and since then it has continued to attack his body.  Today, he is no longer in his body.
Grandpa Kraft was the only grandpa we really knew, since my mom's dad passed away when we were really young.  
Death is such a weird reality.  I live in the reality of Christ and He defeated death!  That doesn't make the loss of someone super easy.  There are still emotions and those emotions are even harder when you're not sure if that person is God's child.  The reality of that is tough.  What do you do with that?


I want to take a moment to reflect on my Grandpa, from what I knew of him and who he was to me. 


We weren't close to him.  He lived in Jacksonville with my Grandma and Kurt.  We grew up, anticipating visits from him and my Grandma throughout the year.  They would bring up treats for us, food and random things my Grandma had purchased at yard sales.  I always remember my Grandpa being stern with us, never really wanting to be around us as little kids.  One year at Christmas, he and my mom got into an argument about how loud we were, and he and my Grandma ended up going home early. 
He would always do this thing with his jaw, moving his bottom teeth to be in front of his front teeth, like an under bite.  He would try to get my Grandma to hurry, by repeatedly calling "Wilma, Wilma."
He harshly told me I needed to go to counseling in high school because of my picky eating habits and small frame.  He gave me money my second semester of college last minute, because my parent's couldn't afford it.  He always wore khaki's and sweaters.  He cursed often.  He was a really slow driver. 

The last visit I had with him was in March.  It was totally a gift from our good God.  Our grandparent's have not wanted to be bothered.  They want to sit in their house, take their medicine, and continue sitting.  To make a long story short, Reed, Kory, Alanna, and myself drove to Jacksonville to have dinner with them.  Just dinner.  It was so good though.  My grandparents weren't able to come to our wedding, so that was the first time they met Reed.  It was also their first time meeting Alanna, Kory's girlfriend.  We all set around a table at Olive Garden.  We talked and were able to see them face to face, which hadn't happened for 2 years.  He was able to meet my husband!  It is such a good last memory.  (above photo)


My thoughts are all over the place right now.. that is how I am going to leave this post.

This moment

Two days ago I finally had sinus surgery.  For the past few years the ENT and allergist have strongly encouraged me to get it done.  I have to say, I already feel better!  I know that the lovely pain pills I am taking are helping me feel this way, but I can breathe through my nose, which was rare before!  So I am spending a lot of time in the bed, making a list of things to do, and getting back on this blog is one!

Reed and I went to the beach last weekend with some friends of mine from college.  It was so much fun getting together with people you don't see on a weekly basis and spending a few days with them.  Charleston is one of my favorite places in the entire world, and I love spending time there.  The cobblestone streets, the trendy boutiques and people, the salt air, the good restaurants.. I love it all! 
It was great to be away from the normal scheduled life and live with no cares at the beach!  Reed didn't really know any of the people that were there, except for my friend Stacy who was also a bridesmaid in our wedding.  Reed, however, is great with people, and just becomes best friends with everyone.  God has given him that gift!



Since I had surgery, I have felt very loved by God.  He has given me a sweet husband, who is patient, kind, and gentle; parents and in-laws who are caring, and special friends like Greta and Alise!  I'm so thankful for the community our Father gives, and the grace he lavishes on me, when I don't deserve it.


Some of my list of things to do while out of commission are:
Update my reading lists:http://www.goodreads.com/
Clean out my email
Organize my recipes (they are all over the place)
Continue reading Radical and other books
Watch "Waiting for Superman" - our recent netflix selection, about public education
Prepare for Frazee summer
Lots of sleep